


You Mean the World to Me

by alpha_korra



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Love, Soul-Searching, Takes place during 5x03, Too broken at this point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 06:37:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21157241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpha_korra/pseuds/alpha_korra
Summary: Lena was staring blankly outside.The night sky filled with stars sparkling and the city glowing in its own technicolour.But tonight she wasn’t enjoying the view.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Aspidities](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspidities/gifts).

Lena was staring blankly outside. The night sky filled with stars sparkling and the city glowing in its own technicolour. But tonight she wasn’t enjoying the view. Often at times, she would catch a glimpse of red and blue but tonight the thought of seeing the wearer was too much for her to handle. It had been since the very moment she knew she had been betrayed by that same person.

Her acting was on point and strangely she was feeling proud of it. But then again, deep down she knew it wasn’t much of an acting. There was an unspoken trust from the other side and so it wasn’t hard at all to play her ‘best friend’ like a pawn in her favorite game of chess.

It should’ve satisfied her. She had been played with, her whole life, by the most important people she had ever looked upto.

But it didn’t.

And the feeling was unnerving.

The journals of her brother were still in her hand but she didn’t feel like opening them tonight.

_Tomorrow…I’m too tired for this right now_

She convinced herself that it was her exhaustion. But even she knew she was making a fool of herself. That one line kept on repeating in her head, _“For friend like you, there are no boundaries.”_

Lena was four when she had seen her birth mother drown right in front of her. It had left her traumatised and scarred for the rest of her life. Then, she was adopted by the Luthor family(or at least she thought she wasn’t related to them biologically) until much later in her life, her foster mother revealed that she was in fact a Luthor.

It gave a sense of thrill in her heart knowing that she indeed had a family and was related to them by blood. But on the other hand, it disgusted her that she was related to the worst possible family of the century.

Family…

That’s all she had ever wanted.

But everyone around her was broken and irreparable. She even tried her best to bring her brother on the right path but some people are just born evil. There’s no way they can be redeemed.

The way her family life shaped her made her cold and heartless and she put walls around her which were impenetrable. Never would she allow anyone to enter inside and see her soul and vulnerable self.

She was a child prodigy but that too didn’t satisfy her. CEO of a company and billionaire yet feeling numb from inside.

However, it didn’t keep her from indulging in sexual pleasures. Men were just a source of physical satisfaction and nothing more than that.

If, at all, someone would slightly even hint at wanting to be anything more, she would in that very instant kick him out.

She thought maybe this is how it was supposed to be. That the world is full of liars and love is just a work of fiction.

She never once in her life had allowed herself to feel.

But life is all about change and change is the only constant.

And so her life turned upside down when she met Kara Danvers.


	2. Chapter 2

Lena had always been a judge of character factoring the individual’s achievements, their deeds and how much informed and civil of a person they were.

But people, on the other hand, judged her by her last name. 

Luthor. 

As much as she loathed to be a part of it, she did want to give a new meaning to her last name. 

She wanted desperately that the world recognises her for her merits and that Luthor name is remembered for her virtues and not for the sins done by her family. 

However, that was one of the most difficult parts to attain right after her being her true self.

She never knew that one day a reporter will enter her room, all smiles and just immediately agree with her so readily.

_ “I’m just a woman trying to make a name outside of my family. You understand that?” _

She expected mockery. She expected sarcasm. She even expected satirical laughter and somewhat she was right about Clark Kent. 

But the reporter, along with him, she hadn’t even noticed before immediately replied,  _ “Yeah.” _

It took her off guard. She was good at keeping her outer composure but her insides had shaken. Just a bit. 

_ “And who are you exactly?” _

_ “Um...I’m Kara Danvers…I’m not a reporter.” _

_ “You could have fooled me.” _

To her surprise and somewhat delight, Kara Danvers joined as a reporter for the Catco Magazine. 

Their initial interactions were all business-related and Lena intended to keep it as it is. She was a businesswoman after all and she wanted to get everything out of their time together as much as possible.

But soon their interactions started shifting to a much more informal zone she wasn’t accustomed to.

She initially thought that Ms. Danvers was interested in her looks, her charming persona and her strong personality. And maybe just maybe she was interested in getting laid.

Perhaps, that’s why she tried the whole flirtatious gestures and eyes getting dark with lust to get laid with Kara Danvers and get this over with. 

She never had tried anything with a woman before but she wouldn’t just back down because of that.

But as much as she tried, Kara never once responded to her advances. 

Maybe she was straight and honestly Lena couldn’t care less but what bothered her was the way their conversations would turn into.

Sometimes, she would just start laughing and smiling while Kara would talk about donuts and chocolates. 

_ She’s too naive. Too gullible. Too good for this world. _

Lena’s response to coping with feelings was until then just getting laid and move on. 

All other sort of conversations would be completely professional and with ‘family’ she was mute most of her time. 

She didn’t know exactly what Kara wanted from her as their interactions were slowly turning into banters.

She knew she was venturing into a dangerous territory and it shook her again. This time more profoundly.

The same person shaking her core twice in a row. 

Friendship.

She never knew what that felt like until Kara would just barge into her office room unannounced with a bag of donuts and burgers. 

Strangely, the more she got to know Kara, the more she realised that Kara never wanted anything in return from her.

There was this sense of unconditional, all-encompassing feeling that she was unable to put her finger on.

And thus came the time, she had to choose. 

Her morals at question when she had to choose between the guy for whom she had felt ‘something’ for the past years or the Supergirl.

She felt bitter, empty and numb again as she sacrificed him for the greater good. 

Part of her knew that it wasn’t all that roses and peaches even with her former lover but still she had missed the sense of belongingness with anyone. 

_ “I think when I feel things again, I’m gonna be very, very afraid.” _

And yet again, Kara shook her for the third time.

_ “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be your friend and I’ll always protect you. I promise.” _

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

While Lena’s friendship with Kara was strengthening, her bond with the Supergirl started crippling soon enough. 

She might have saved Supergirl’s life but she was still a Luthor in her eyes. 

Supergirl would question her every move, every action and Lena very well knew she was not obligated to answer any of her queries. 

It frustrated her to an unfathomable amount. 

She knew sometimes her actions were perceived as too suspicious and constantly zoning around the red flag but she was very meticulous. 

Her every move was very calculated and precise and it would blow away at the face of the villain right in the end just like in chess. 

Somehow, Supergirl didn’t quite get her moves because she was used to much more straight-forward approaches and brute force tactics.

So, circumstances caused a drift between the two.

And when Supergirl tried to make amends, she instantly cut her off. 

_ “I just don’t want one mistake to ruin our friendship, that’s all.” _

_ “It won’t.” _

_ “Good.” _

_ “We don’t have a friendship, Supergirl.” _

_ . _

_ . _

_ . _

_ . _

_ “I just hope that once we solve this, we can work to rebuild our trust.” _

_ “Why is it so important to you that we are friends? I have friends, Supergirl. Friends that don’t scheme behind my back or lie. Given my family history they know how painful that would be. They also know that I’d never enter a friendship with somebody who has already breached that trust.” _

Supergirl might have saved the city and was a hero in everyone’s eyes but for Lena, only Kara Danvers was her hero. No one else.

Kara was the only one who had never once questioned her and always had her back.

Kara was the only one who trusted her immensely.

Kara was the only one who never judged her based on her last name.

And things started to slowly blur out even more when Kara would be with her. 

Her eyes would often at times drift down on Kara’s lips and she’d wonder how they tasted.

Or how Kara looked like when she woke up in the morning.

How her palm felt so warm against her own hand. 

Things became even more foggy when Mon-el started dating Kara. 

Often at times, Lena would try to sneak Kara out for lunch dates just so she could spend most of her time with Kara. 

She would then wonder in the middle of the night as to how Mon-el might be enjoying intimacy with Kara and then she’d have to drag herself in the Kitchen to get a drink.

Lena went to an extent of even dating James just so she could figure out what was so special about him that Kara was even interested in him at the first place. 

She finally concluded. Apparently, nothing.

Around Mon-el, Lena would stiffen everytime. Her responses to him were curt even more so than anyone.

She knew that this was the jealousy creeping through her skin and she very well knew by this point in her life that she was in love with her best friend, Kara Danvers.

Sometime later, Mon-el left and Lena was elated inside but kept her calm demeanor for the sake of her friendship with Kara.

She was still not sure if Kara liked her more than just friends. But the poor girl didn’t know that Kara was just as madly in love with her but too oblivious to pinpoint it.

If, at this point, Lena would’ve proposed to her to marry her, Kara would most certainly reply with a remark like, _ “You wanna be actual wifey-wifey or just friendly-wifey?” _

But Lena so regretted the fact that she had been oblivious too, ever since. 

She was too blind in love to notice the resemblance. Too deeply invested to see the similarities. 

Kara Danvers was in fact, Supergirl.

And the fact that she came to know about this from her brother made it even worse. 

The only person she had allowed to penetrate her walls. 

The only person she had trusted with all her heart. 

The only person she was in love with so deeply.

The only person she had shown her vulnerable skin to. 

That only person was a traitor.

A Liar.

And she lied at her face every single day.

Lena was already broken from inside and Kara was the soothing balm in her deep wounds.

But this time, Kara shook her but not how Lena had anticipated.

And this time she broke but into millions of pieces, unable to rise up again. 

Kara had given her the worst blow of them all and now Lena was handicapped.


	4. Chapter 4

Tears started streaming down her face as she clutched the journals tightly in her hands. 

Finally, she let go (for a while), sobbing miserably at this point.

“I hate you, Kara Danvers, ” she whispered.

“I hate that I love you so much. Even after everything you did to me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Protect Lena Luthor at all costs.


End file.
